If you’re texting a girl who’s really stylish, you might send her a picture of a pair of pants and two shirts and ask her which shirt works best. If she’s always up on the latest music, ask her to recommend a new album. If she’s really great at dealing with people, reach out and ask for her advice when you’re trying to navigate a tricky social situation.
For example, you might say, “I think it’s amazing how no matter what you’re going through, you always look on the bright side of things. " Or you could say something like, “You have this way of making other people feel really special. That’s a real gift!” Too many compliments can start to sound insincere, so don’t go overboard with this. Just drop one in every so often when you feel like she could use an extra boost.
This is a great way to get back in touch if you haven’t talked to her in a while—just pop in randomly to say she crossed your mind, then chat for a little while to catch up![5] X Expert Source John KeeganDating Coach Expert Interview. 5 November 2019. If you’re trying to cheer up a girl who’s down, you could also remind her of a fun memory the two of you share. For instance, you might say, “Hey do you remember the time we tried to make donuts? We made such a huge mess but we laughed so hard!” Here’s a great idea from expert Cher Gopman: don’t be afraid to send a selfie or a photo of where you are to let her know you’re not only thinking about her, but that you wish she was there with you.
If you’re ever stuck for something to talk about, you can never go wrong with a gif or video of a cute animal doing something silly. It’s best to avoid emotionally-charged subjects like politics, religion, race, or class struggles. That doesn’t mean you can never talk about these things, but it might be best to talk about them in person, when you can pick up on each other’s tone of voice and body language to make sure you don’t accidentally cross a line. [7] X Expert Source John KeeganDating Coach Expert Interview. 5 November 2021.
To learn more about her past, ask questions like, “What were some of your favorite childhood traditions?” or “What’s your most favorite memory?” You can also ask questions about her job, hobbies, or pet to learn more about her current day-to-day. Find out about her dreams by saying something like, “Where would you go if you could travel anywhere?” or “What’s your dream job?” Use your questions to figure out what you have in common, then follow up on that. [9] X Expert Source Joshua PompeyRelationship Expert Expert Interview. 27 November 2019. For instance, if she mentions liking sushi, you might text her a few days later with a picture of a great roll you tried.
Try asking thoughtful questions to learn more about the situation to show you really care. Avoid giving her advice unless she asks for it. She might just be venting and may not want you to try to fix her problems for her. Flirting is fun, and it definitely has its place. If she’s upset or being serious, though, it’s probably the not right time for it.
For instance, you might spend some time talking about an awesome new recipe you made, why you love windsurfing, or a musician you think is seriously underrated. Try turning this into an invitation to hang out. If you’re talking about windsurfing, for instance, you might say, “I’d love to bring you with me next time I go. Are you in?"[12] X Expert Source Joshua PompeyRelationship Expert Expert Interview. 27 November 2019. Just don’t go overboard and talk about yourself the whole time. If she mentions something she likes, turn the conversation to her for a little while. [13] X Expert Source Cher GopmanDating Coach Expert Interview. 17 May 2019.
For instance, you might say something like, “Hey, I saw a cool new coffee shop downtown. Let’s go grab an iced mocha on Saturday, then maybe we can go shopping for a little while. " The plans don’t necessarily have to be concrete. You might say something like, “Next summer, I’d love to take you sailing. I think you’d love it!” Even if you’ve been friends or dating for a while, try to think up new and exciting things the two of you can do together. [15] X Expert Source John KeeganDating Coach Expert Interview. 5 November 2019.
There’s no set time-table for how often to text—it really depends on how close you are. If you’re dating or you’re really good friends, you might text a few times a day. If you don’t know each other that well, you might only chat every couple of days. At the same time, the old “3 Day Rule” is outdated. Expert Joshua Pompey says you don’t have to wait three days after a date to follow up with a text. With our phones on us all day, every day, radio silence after a great date might just make you seem uninterested.
