Understand that getting chlamydia from your boyfriend doesn’t necessarily mean he cheated on you. 50% of men remain asymptomatic with chlamydia, so he might have gotten it before you were in a relationship. [1] X Research source If you haven’t tested positive for chlamydia, you might not have it. Urinary tract infections (UTIs) can have similar symptoms, so visit a doctor to be sure of your diagnosis. [2] X Trustworthy Source PubMed Central Journal archive from the U. S. National Institutes of Health Go to source Common symptoms of UTIs include burning with urination, urinary urgency or frequency. If you have a urinary infection, you may have lower abdominal or back pain. There may be leakage of urination.
Your doctor or testing center will likely have pamphlets or other informational resources that you can take with you. Bringing these to the conversation can help your boyfriend answer any questions he might have.
Consider your boyfriend’s personality when deciding how you want to talk about this issue. If you think he might cause a scene, but would still prefer to talk to him in person, try choosing a public place to talk. If you’re worried about your boyfriend’s reaction, it’s okay to talk on the phone. While texting isn’t the best way to talk about serious issues, it’s better to notify him this way than not at all.
“There’s no easy way to say this, but I tested positive for chlamydia the other day. I’ve only been with you for the duration of our relationship, but it’s possible I got it from a previous partner. ” “You should know that I went to get tested for STIs yesterday, and found out that I have chlamydia. I’m telling you this so that you can get tested as well, since I think that I probably got it from you. ” “I care about you, and I need to be honest with you. I tested positive for chlamydia today, and I need you to get an appointment at the clinic for yourself—it’s likely that I got it from you. ” If you’re really nervous about this conversation, try practicing with a friend first. This can help you feel more prepared.
“Can I schedule you an appointment at the clinic I went to? It’s really nice. ” “How about if we go together to the clinic tomorrow?” “It’s really important that you take care of this as soon as possible. ”
“I feel a little confused and hurt by how I got chlamydia, but I think we should focus on getting treated first. ” “I feel unsure about whether you got chlamydia before or during our relationship, but I want to make sure that you get it taken care of soon. ” “I want you to know that I think of STIs as a normal part of being sexually active, and I don’t hold this against you. ”
If he asks, “How bad is chlamydia?” you can say something like, “It’s common and also treatable. I know you might be feeling scared, but I promise that it’ll be okay. ” If he asks, “How do you know you didn’t give me chlamydia?” you can say something like, “It’s possible that I got it from a partner before our relationship and didn’t know. I don’t think either of us can know who gave it to whom. ” If he asks, “Are you angry at me?” you can say something like, “I think I need some time. I can’t say that this is proof that you slept with someone else during our relationship, but once we get treated, we’ll need to have an honest conversation. ”
“Now that we’ve talked about our health, I want to tell you that lately, I’ve felt like we need more clarity on whether or not we’re monogamous, and what that means to each of us. ” “I feel like I need some reassurance about our relationship. If you did sleep with someone else, I think we’ll need to talk about what this means for us as a couple. ” “I know that our relationship is open, but I think we need to talk about using protection when we’re with other partners. Since chlamydia can be transmitted orally, I’d like us to commit to either avoiding oral sex with others or using protection. ”[9] X Trustworthy Source Centers for Disease Control and Prevention Main public health institute for the US, run by the Dept. of Health and Human Services Go to source
“Do you have any questions about chlamydia? I’m not an expert, but I’ve been reading a lot about it since I got tested. ” “I know this can feel like a lot to take in. How are you feeling?” “Okay, I know that was a lot of information, but is there anything you wanted to share with me?”
“I’m really worried about my boyfriend’s reaction to the news. I know you’re busy, but do you think you could give him a call for me?” “I know that I have to be responsible and let my boyfriend know he needs to be treated, but I can’t do it myself. Could I ask you to talk to him?” “I’m not sure if you’ve done this before, but would it be possible for you to let my boyfriend know he needs to be treated?”
